oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
