You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
