I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize