dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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