i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
