I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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