I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
