Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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