Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
