You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
