i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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