i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
one might say we're banned from that church
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
