I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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