I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
