He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
