I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
