it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
