I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
