On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize