Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
