I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
