I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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