He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
