If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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