covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
