I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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