is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
last night I used snow as a chaser
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
