Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
