i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
