he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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