That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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