i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
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