At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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