Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
