Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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