you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
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Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
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You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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