sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Randomize