you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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