Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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