my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
