...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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