Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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