Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
