I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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