Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize