The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
