At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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