Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
