So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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