Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
