Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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