What a fucking waste of an outfit
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
