I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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