Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
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Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
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Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest