i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".