Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
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Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together