Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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