i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian