Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
