Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
tell me about the eggs
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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