Your tits are I can't wait for
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
